Friday, June 29, 2012

Things Change

Things are slowly drifting into a new normal around here. Not always, but often. And things I was afraid I might never do again resurfaced . It was a busy last week, filled with memories. To the people that were apart of them, the people we walked past, it was probably just a regular good day. But it was more for me…

I sat at the kitchen table of one of my best friends. The same friend who saw me through my chubby elementary school years, my butterfly-clip middle school years. (If that’s not dedicated friendship, I don’t know what is.) 
I know, I was almost too ashamed to post this.... love me through it, Meg?!

We mostly just talked and ate a lot… And we laughed as hard as we cried within those few hours. We talked about silly things and hard things. And within an hour we definitely pinpointed what’s culturally wrong with women. Modern day geniuses ;)

I watched my little toddler run all around the living room floor with another best friend’s child. (you can really never have too many best friends). We ate popsicles and sat on the deck and those sweet little girls looked like the epitome of summer with melted strawberry & honey dripping down their bare chests. And I watched as the youngest of the group took off walking across the deck, 16 full steps, desperate to get herself a bite of a popsicle.  

I ate Cajun food twice and went out with my husband. We laughed in the car while he cracked silly jokes and almost got lost (which is almost always guaranteed when we go on a date).  We went bowling, stopped to buy socks because we forgot ours at home, and I really want to post all the pictures but I’m just way too embarrassed. I need the bumpers as much as I needed them at my birthday party where I turned 9. Tommy felt so sorry for me that he said, “We’re a team! Let’s shoot for a team score!” I’m so lame. But it was lots of fun, and even funnier when I bowled 2 gutter balls back to back in the final frame of the night. We went out and saw a movie and ate popcorn and candy for dinner. And as normalcy never seems to follow us on dates, we got to catch the movie for the hearing-impaired (i.e. there were captions throughout the entire movie. Awesome.) As Tommy said, “We get to read a book AND watch a movie.”

We went and picked blueberries and holy mackerel was that a task in itself. If I’d had gold stars in my car, I would’ve given them to the farmers. We came home with pounds of blueberries, just the right mixture of sweet and tart. Abi Kate was the ultimate blueberry thief, eating so many off the bushels that I felt sure we owed them at least the cost of 2 additional pints. She shouted “BLUE!” when she realized what they were and took off running down the rows.

It's always sad to leave fun places. :( 

We bought a potty. And not for us but for the little girl who started telling us, “Potty!” a few weeks ago. She’s got a long time ahead of her, as she tells us usually while she’s going and she doesn’t always mention it. We’re in no hurry at all (her diapers are cute) and we weren’t really prepared for her interest (can’t we just force her to use our potty?), but we figured we’d roll with it and let her experiment with her own as she becomes ready. She loves it. She filled the entire thing up with 10 pairs of my panties the other night and closed the lid. I found them later…. At least she’s finding good use for it?! But she did tell us ahead of time the other day, we took her to the potty, and sure enough, she pooped in it. (I can’t believe my blog has succumbed to poop stories….) She thinks it’s a really big deal.

Abi Kate and I went swimming with some of our favorite friends. We talked birth and babies. Fears and faith. We laughed at the wittiness her seriously hysterical oldest daughter. And when this sweet, intelligent little girl asked me about the baby we lost, I was able to answer her questions without falling apart. Abi Kate dressed up like Rapunzel, which I totally loved-- her, not so much. It was a good day.

In a lot of ways, life has changed for us in the last few weeks. For me, change rarely comes easily. People that we didn’t expect stepped out and genuinely loved us well.  That has changed me. We learned that some of the people we thought cared a lot for us, probably don’t care as much as we’d hoped or thought.  And that has been hard and brought change too. But in the grand scheme of things, we’ve found ourselves humbled and in need of the constancy of Christ--another change that has ushered in spiritual growth. It’s difficult to recognize and accept the lack of control we have actually have in this life, that such encounters with life’s brevity conjure fear and sadness.  Everything is not perfect or whole or even comfortable in our lives yet. But this week, these memories, these people that have invested in us, they are the proof that God restores.

And even though my thoughts and heart never stray far from the sadness, I found myself genuinely happy on these days. Balancing joy and sorrow. Enjoying simplicity and every day moments. 

And that has been a welcome change

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