Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Great Joy Sucker

Abi Kate will be 9 months old tomorrow. "Time flies" is an understatement. In light of that, my mind has been on how God has used her in such a short time to bring me to a more steadfast love for Him....

 A few months ago at Abi Kate's 4 month check up, her pediatrician very casually asked us a question. In the moment, I had no clue that this simple question would be a great "joy sucker" for me. If I had, I probably would've been on my knees much longer that morning. He asked us if she normally held her head tilted to the side. No big deal, right? I told him that she did sometimes, but not always. He very casually mentioned that she may have a tightening of the muscles in her neck, physical therapy would loosen it over time, and just to keep an eye on it and if we didn't see improvement within a few weeks to call him back. It was funny that he mentioned that because as soon as he drew attention to it, we noticed it. Often. Most of the time, in fact. I wasn't overly concerned about it. I'd looked it up online (this is a BAD idea friends. Do not follow this example). It seemed that he was suggesting that she had torticollis. Of course, my initial thought was, "Oh no. Something is wrong with my child." But her pediatrician was very calm about it (which I am ever grateful for), said it could just be developmental as she was learning to hold her head up completely, and so I told myself just to be at peace. I left his office feeling pretty confident and ok. We took her back about a month later, he said it was torticollis (though only a mild case), and he scheduled us to meet with a pediatric physical therapist. Nothing major. I asked him to please tell me what had caused it and he told me basically what I'd read about it-- often it's from positioning in utero (to which I said "Thanks a lot, uterus. Thanks a lot."), it could be just a preference that she developed over time, or it could be from birth trauma. Birth trauma was immediately ruled out. So we started considering the first option, her positioning inside of me. When she was born she had an asymmetrical nose (basically, it was smushed on one side.)
       *Look at that sweet little smooshed nose!*
Almost as soon as she was born, I looked at our doula who is also an RN and said, "Her nose?!" and then repeated that same question when her pediatrician came to do a check on her the next morning. Cute as it was, as new parents we were mildly concerned. They both assured us it was simply from how she'd laid against the uterine wall and it would pop out over time. They were right. :)

* A few days later, more popped out but still a little smooshy. (Oh my soul, how was she this tiny?! Tears..)*

               *And about 2 weeks later, her precious little button nose was completely "normal".*

Long story short, the way her head would've been tilted inside me for her nose to be flat coincided with the way that her neck chose to stay tilted.
In general, I was grateful that this was the only "problem." There are so many parents with sick babies, difficult pregnancies, truly traumatic experiences. This was just a tightening of muscles, it wasn't preventable,  and it simply required a bit of physical therapy and some stretching. Or at least this is how I felt at the beginning.

Abi Kate began therapy in July and went once a week. We adored her therapists. They loved on her like she was theirs. They snuggled her and kissed her and were so gentle. There's nothing better than to see someone else genuinely caring for your child. They taught us stretches to do at home; we did them religiously. We didn't broadcast it simply because people didn't seem to understand the diagnosis. That's ok-- I wouldn't have either I'm sure. A few times we got, "Oh I bet it's because she didn't do enough tummy time. Or she was in her swing a lot."  Which those things can lead to a predisposition towards torticollis, but that just wasn't the case for her. She hated tummy time, which we now understood why. But we did it, and I wore her from the minute she was big enough to be worn (which is also a form of tummy time).
                                                                       *1 week old!*

 In addition, Tommy and I never subscribed to the theory that you could spoil a newborn by holding it. The swing and bouncy seat were nice occasionally, but not used for hours on end. (Seriously, she slept on us for the first two weeks of her life. Tsk, tsk, I know.) I mean, we were ridiculously in love with this child. Why wouldn't we hold her as often as we could?! And 9 months later, now that she moves and crawls and jumps and wiggles and doesn't want to be held most of the time, I'm so grateful we soaked up those moments and held her as close as we could as often as we did.

We also heard, "Oh, just turn her neck and make her look this way." Which is nice in theory. But it's kinda like telling a blind person to just open up their eyes so they can see. It's not that they don't want to, they just can't. Really, people were just trying to be helpful and understand. But I was already grappling with the idea that I had carried my child inside "incorrectly" and it resulted in needing therapy. So everything sounded like it was my fault, something that we could've avoided if we'd done things the "right way". It is funny to see how quickly the enemy snuck in and started turning something that I initially felt wasn't a big deal into something that was a *BIG* deal for me.

It started just like I said... I started thinking that I hadn't carried her "right". I went through a laundry list of things that I tried to do to protect her and offer her a great start. I took prenatal vitamins for a few months before trying to conceive to make sure my body had what it needed, I used natural remedies when I was sick during pregnancy, I took 1 Tylenol my entire pregnancy, I was regularly adjusted, and we'd chosen to birth her with no medication to keep her safe from the side effects of pitocin and anesthesia. But somehow, I kept those thoughts at bay for awhile. She was making quick progress in therapy, she loved playing while she was there, and so it was easy to put it out of my mind.

She had been in therapy for about a month when she turned 6 months old. If you know anything about child development, you know that this particular month is a really rich month of growth-- both physical and cognitive. She was sitting up, trying to move from sitting to prone, grabbing toys out of her reach. And the stretches we had to do became hard. She hated them and would scream and cry while we did them. It broke my heart. I've never been one to cry when she cries. I didn't cry when she had her blood drawn, when she had a shot, etc. I know that babies just cry-- it's how they communicate. But this was different. She struggled against me and I knew the stretches were uncomfortable. They didn't hurt, but they were working those tightened muscles. I remember one afternoon just crying with her and telling her I was sorry because I felt like it was my fault. She wouldn't have to do the stretches if I hadn't done something wrong. I knew logistically that this was incorrect. But I couldn't stop that tidal wave of emotion, and my thoughts just started spinning. I didn't identify it.1 Peter 5:8 should've bolted into my mind. "Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."  But it didn't.

Abi Kate's pregnancy and birth were times of heavy spiritual growth for me. They were refining for my faith and the Father used them to draw me to Himself. On the morning of January 27, I needed the physical presence of Christ in a way that I'd never needed Him before. And just like He promised, even when I doubted, He showed up and sustained me. He delivered me, He comforted me, He quieted me with His love. He offered peace in the pain and calm in the chaos. He answered every tiny thing that we prayed, and I was overcome. I still struggle to explain adequately what her birth meant for me on a spiritual level. I will never forget the hours of intimacy with Christ in our home while I labored. Nine months later and I still can't talk about it without tears. God used those hours to magnificently display his faithfulness to me, His sovereignty, and to show me, a lover of control, how beautiful surrender truly is. In 5 hours He showed me things about Himself that I hadn't learned in 17 years of following Him. It only makes sense that this is where the enemy would begin his "devouring." And on that afternoon while Abi Kate cried and I cried for her, I shamefully started to doubt.  I doubted our decisions. I forgot what He had showed me not so long ago, and I started to look for control.

I began to doubt the birth choices Tommy and I had made. Decisions we'd labored over. Prayed over. But I questioned them just the same. We'd considered home birth with her early in my second trimester, but things didn't pan out and we didn't feel peace about it. I started thinking that if I'd had her at home, I could've delivered her as soon as I needed. I wouldn't have fought against pushing in order to make it to Vanderbilt. Maybe if I'd gone to a nearer hospital.... There were so many if's....  Maybe she was too big for my body to carry and maybe this would happen to all of our children. Maybe I hadn't paid enough attention. Looking back at her pictures from her first week on,  it was SO easy to spot it. Things that I had originally looked at and thought, "She doesn't hold her head up completely yet." I even emailed our doula asking if something had happened during her birth that I'd done ( to which she patiently told me that home birth couldn't have prevented it, going to another hospital wouldn't have fixed it, and nothing had happened in her delivery-- all hands were off her when she arrived. No pulling or guiding. She was simply caught by the midwife.) But there was still this incessant need to know what I had done. And what I didn't recognize in the moment was that at the center of all that, there was a huge crowning and loving of self.  What had I done? Not what He had done. Why did I decide that? Not what He had led us to. Graciously, Christ used His people to point me back to His wisdom and to point out my position. Tommy pointed me to scripture, and I remember the words of one particular friend verbatim. "God's hands were all over her birth. Don't forget that."

Through this process, I realized that even though I'd acknowledged His strength and utter holiness, I had somehow managed to keep myself elevated to a position of control. I had allowed the enemy to suck the joy from one of the greatest cornerstone moments of my life. And how easily he'd been able to because of my great love for myself. My great need for control. The same things that Christ had broken me of 6 months before, on my knees in my living room at 4 am while the rest of the world went on with their day. I ignored what Christ had prevented, the health that He had given my child, and had made it about my actions-- this one small thing that I couldn't control. In the ease of my everyday life, in my lack of attention to the spiritual war that is always raging around me, I didn't give credence to "the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might.." (Eph 1:19). It was a humbling moment from a merciful God. Walking in humility is something that I continue to struggle with, and I imagine I always will (parenting is a good help with that! haha). It is still amazing to me the amount of ignorance I foster about my love for myself and how I easily go from day to day without recognizing how incapable I am and how sovereign He is. I am grateful for His unending kindness that leads me to repentance.

God showed His faithfulness even in my shallowness...Something that never ceases to touch my soul. Abi Kate was released from therapy in September. And in that time God reminded me to make much of Him and to make little of myself.  Much to the surprise of her therapists, she never presented with or developed any physical delays as children with torticollis often do. We weren't surprised. :) He is good.


     *Her tilty little neck ;)*

                                                                      * Still there...*

                                                                    * And now... :)  *

One of the scriptures that resonated with me from the moment I read "pregnant" on the at-home test to the present moments of our lives with Abi Kate.... The scripture painted in her room because I identify it as hers. It spoke perfectly to this experience. "The Lord has done GREAT things for us, and we are filled with JOY." Psalm 126:3

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Chemical Free is the Way to Be!


I'm aware that was the dorkiest title in the history of all blogs. I've embraced the idea that I will never be "free" of Kindergarten, even if I'm not currently teaching it. But it goes with the rest of this little passage, so....

A few reasons for this particular topic- 1. I've had several people ask me over the last few months about chemicals, toxin free cleaners, cloth diapers, where I'm at in the "green" process (and seriously, it is a process for me! I'm a slow changer...),etc.  2. This slow transformation has spawned as a result of becoming a parent. 3. October is Holistic Living Month!! Did you know?! I was excited! (Can you tell??)

**Disclaimer: And just for the concern of a few friends, I have not become the epitome of a tree hugger who thinks Mother Nature is holy and real. I promise I haven't turned into a lobbying environmentalist!**

Most of this began several years ago. (I know. It has taken me SOOO long to arrive at this place. Don't   judge!) Tommy and I had started reading information about hormones, antibiotics, etc. in food. So, we stopped buying regular dairy and switched to organic. We stopped buying regular meat/poultry and switched to grass fed, cage free, no rBGH, etc. We occasionally purchased organic produce; and I do mean occasionally. As we strove to get some synthetic properties out of our bodies, we also made the decision for me to stop taking the Pill. It seemed to thwart our efforts of health and more natural living when I was regularly putting synthetic hormones & chemicals into my body daily. We finally got convicted and brave one month, tossed it, and switched to Natural Family Planning (which is not the "I want to get pregnant" method. I know I heard you laughing at me.) We successfully used this for several years to not get pregnant and then used it to achieve pregnancy. (And as a side note- let me just say I'm not downing birth control, child spacing, etc. Those are such personal decisions. This was simply part of our journey. That's all.) About a year before I got pregnant, I started reading a little bit about chemicals in household cleaners, detergents, etc. If you know me well, you know I've had a long love affair with bleach, Orange Pledge, and all forms of antibacterial products-the heavier the fragrance, the better. I didn't like what I was reading because I like zero germs and I like scents. A lot. But it seemed to be staring me in the face. Shamefully, I just put it aside and told Tommy that all of that information was just "overkill" and we couldn't be perfect. I attempted to switch by buying one of the "greener" versions of a popular cleaner--it didn't work well, I didn't like the smell and this just reinforced my opinion. What we were doing was good enough. Fast forward a year or two-- we're pregnant and those healthier cleaners seem to be a bit more appealing, but still just more change than I was willing to succumb to. Finally, I decided that I would be willing to let go of two things-- my dish washing detergent, my laundry detergent (I'm pretty sure a tear rolled down my face when I said goodbye to Gain), and my dryer sheets. I figured that the residue of the chemicals was left of our dishes and that was ingested. So switching that made most sense, and I started making my own. And I figured that we wear some form of clothing for about 99% of the day. By switching, I could limit the amount of chemicals/fragrances that we were breathing in and likely seeping into our skin. And to my surprise, even though I missed the sweet fragrances, more natural products worked very well. The more I used them, the more I acknowledged what those fragrances really were and it made me miss the smells less. A lot less. 
A few weeks before giving birth to Abi Kate, I started reading about chemicals and toxins in body products and their immediate and long lasting effects on body systems. I'd stumbled across a toxin-free company while looking for some postpartum items. They had rave reviews everywhere I looked. So, I bought a few of their products. (And inside I was going, seriously, I "should" switch this, too?! No, thanks. That is definitely going overboard.) 2 days after having Abi Kate, I dumped what the hospital gave me and started using their products instead-- and I was officially sold. I started putting our shampoos, soaps, makeup, etc. on the Environmental Working Group's  Skin Deep database (Go type in your favorite body product. You might be surprised....) and was SO displeased with what I found.  I started learning about phthalates, parabens, SLES, and a slew of other chemical concoctions tied up in the word "fragrance".  I immediately knew I needed to switch Abi Kate's soap and lotion. So I did. Then I switched Tommy's and mine. 
A few months ago in the summer, a friend hosted a Green Cleaning Workshop (her influence has been spilling over into my life for over a year now... Maybe it will stop one day?! haha!)  And at this point, I just decided that this was it. I was going to learn what I could and if it meant getting rid of my cleaners, then so be it. So, I went, was schooled by a local green cleaning goddess on what was unhealthy about my other cleaners, and I stopped loving my bleach in vast quantities on every available surface or linen. And I stopped needing my Orange Pledge and antibacterial laced soaps. I began using the cleaners she taught about and much to my chagrin.... I loved them. LOVED them. The essential oils offered up just enough smell to satisfy my need for scent, (and they also have natural antibacterial/fungal/viral characteristics depending on your oil of choice). They worked exceptionally well, much better than the popular green cleaners I'd tried so long ago (which come to find out aren't really different from a regular cleaner. Just a different label. I'm sure no one else was shocked by this but me.) And most importantly, I didn't worry about what my family (and especially my daughter with her tiny body and new immune system) was inhaling and what we were ingesting from touching surfaces that had been cleaned with such products. And if I wasn't 100% convinced after learning what I did and using the products, I was completely convinced after hanging at a dear friend's house helping her clean when her sweet 2 year old took a sip of the healthy/safe furniture polish (and I was standing right beside her when she did). What if that hadn't been edible materials? What if that had been a mainstream product? We would've been on the phone with Poison Control. And let's be honest, it is that easy and that quick for a small child to find something that interests them--even the best behaved children (she is one of those children-- and I'm a good judge of little kid behavior). 

We're still working on eating cleaner. We've started buying almost all our produce organically if possible, stopped consuming meat in such vast quantities, and started ditching the stuff that comes in a box or a can       (Did you know Campbell's lines their cans with Bisphenol A?! I didn't. That's definitely not "Mm! Mm! Good!" Just because the FDA says it's ok in small quantities, doesn't make it safe. I don't think that's a hard leap for anyone to make.) Much like I said in a previous post, we're not purists and we never will be. If you were to open my shower right now, you'd see my healthy soaps, but you'd also see my regular Herbal Essences shampoo and why? Because I haven't found a natural shampoo that works on my hair. And my husband purchased a whole set of them before we began this transformation because they were on super slasher sale. ;) And yes, there is tons of organic produce in my fridge--right beside the cans of Mountain Dew that I like. We're not striving for zero exposure to chemicals, toxins, and pesticides, but less exposure. 

Something I get asked a lot whenever the topic comes up is "Isn't that so expensive?!" Some things, yes. Some things, no. Making your own cleaners is ridiculously cheap and the essential oils go such a long way because it only takes a few drops. Share them with a friend and they become even cheaper! Buying organic and healthier body products can be more costly. But this is how we look at it-- we can pay now or we can pay later. I'd much rather offer up a few extra dollars now towards our health than to pay for it physically when I'm older. And yes, I am that convinced of the effects of chemicals. (The company I referenced earlier is Earth Mama Angel Baby. I've used most of their products and haven't found one that I don't love. They run half off sales almost every single Friday on Facebook. Just like their page and you can see it, too :). )  I think most people think it's overprotective or overkill like I did for so many years. And that's ok. I do not think less of anyone else even in the slightest who doesn't subscribe to these ideas. These are personal convictions. But Tommy & I just can't "un-know" what we've learned. We know that we can't do everything to shield our children from chemicals and from disease. We live in a fallen world where those things are just realities. But learning about what we can do to help Abi Kate and ourselves live healthier lives has spurred us on to change. For us, this is a part of fulfilling 1Cor. 6:19-20 and "honoring God with our bodies". We're not even slightly halfway there, but we're diligently working on it. 

According to a 2005 study in Environmental Health Perspectives, 23 elementary aged students were urine tested and 100% of their urine revealed the presence of pesticides. After 4 days of being fed organic food, from that same group of children,  only 1 child's urine contained any detectable traces of pesticides. That's crazy. I could write a really long time about VOC's, BPA, nutrient deprived food, etc. but it would be more boring that what I've already written and who knows if you can trust where I got my information from ;) Truthfully, there's people who've been doing this a lot longer than me, who are way more dedicated than me. There's people who know a lot more than me that could tell you much more than I ever could! I still have gobs and gobs to learn. But really, it just won't mean anything to you unless you do your own research. You might decide, like we did, that it's worth it to change a few things. Maybe you'll think it is, or maybe you'll think it's not.

Truth is, no one can do everything to protect their children from unhealthy things. But we can all do something :) I recently found out that Abi Kate's car seat was ranked one of the worst for VOCs. I had a mild cardiac arrest and then realized that I just had to let that go and move on. I can't freak out about every infinitesimal thing. There's no balance in that. 

If you made it to the end of this, you are a champion worthy of a reward! I'm a newbie,  so if you have any healthy tips, please send them my way. And better yet, if you've found a healthy shampoo that you are in love with, let me know! My hair will thank you :)

Friday, October 14, 2011

Loving Like Jesus

                                                                                   
Parenthood is funny isn't it? Things that I never questioned in my care of other children have suddenly become great big question marks as we have learned to parent Abi Kate. I am forever the researching, studying dork, and on a "need- to- know" basis so I can make informed decisions. This is both a blessing and a curse. In pregnancy, I literally inhaled books (and as an aside, friends, please just put What to Expect When You're Expecting back on the shelf and walk the other way. Unless, of course, you want to know how to expect trauma and drama.) I read articles, visited websites, and watched documentaries prepping for pregnancy and birth. Likewise, this has been applied to my parenting. And can I just say, where is the middle of the road book?! My friends have heard me say it about a billion times, but I usually side with the idea of "moderation in everything." Ok, not literally everything, but you understand where I'm coming from, right? Prior to having Abi Kate, I felt like I had a pretty good grasp on the general idea of parenthood. My degree included a lot of child development, and I've never been able to shake what I learned from that. However, there were specifics that I felt like I should read up on before having her. But I could never completely agree with anything I read. It felt like every book was some sort of extreme-- set a schedule and never deter or throw a schedule out the window and shoot the breeze. I couldn't get on board with Cry-It-Out and I couldn't agree with never helping her learn to soothe herself. I remember one afternoon calling my mom and saying, "What did you do with us?! Just lay it out for me!" In all fairness, I was very pregnant and I would like to blame my hormones for this overly emotional response. ;)  I felt unsure about what decisions to make, and these decisions were so important to me. Praise the Lord that in all His goodness He gave me my husband who is the ultimate source of calm reasoning in our household. Tommy wasn't overly concerned about such decisions and said that Christ would guide us. So basically, we just began praying that God would give us His wisdom in parenting our child. It was around this time that the most profound idea hit me-- just put those other books off to the side and pick up your Bible. I know this is SO "unprofound" to 99% of believers and probably to most people who have raised children. But for me it was a decisive point in determining how we would parent. I, of course, knew how to make the Bible applicable to the main idea of parenting, to bring her up in the goodness and knowledge of Jesus. But it was the day to day routine decisions that were troubling me. The more Tommy & I talked, the more we read, and the more we prayed, those other books became less necessary. Because the reality is that we just needed to love our children the way that Christ loves us. And we chose to make that applicable even in small things (but the things that troubled me most) like sleep methods, scheduling vs. not scheduling, etc. Our Father is gentle with us, full of grace and mercy. He is attentive to our needs at all hours of the day, and He doesn't look towards His own interests but instead, gave Himself up for us in the most significant way. He is patient with us and grows us up into Him.

One thing that has always bothered me about our culture is that we expect 6 month olds to sleep like 6 year olds. We expect 4 month olds to manage their emotions the way 4 year olds do. And we expect 8 month olds to independently entertain themselves the way an 8 year old would. We no longer allow babies to be babies. We expect them to be independent, nearly self sufficient beings by age 1. We expect them to conform to our schedule, our needs, our sleep patterns, and our desires quickly. We are frustrated when they don't. To me, this stood in opposition to the tenderness found in the person of Christ. Praise God that He knew I wouldn't be a mature believer after one year of salvation. That He didn't deem me "difficult" or become frustrated with me. Instead, He gently drew me to Himself and has continued sanctifying me over the last 17 years, offering me endless grace (and trust me, I've needed it!). This picture of His love was monumental for me. By no means do I think that we shouldn't train our children to learn to be independent or withhold discipline or guide them. But Tommy & I have decided that we will guide them gently and patiently. This hasn't always been easy and I was seriously questioning this idea when Abi Kate, my once champion sleeper, suddenly stopped sleeping through the night at 5 1/2 months and persisted until she broke her first tooth. I am not a night friendly person. I become irrational, seriously grumpy. It's not pretty, friends. Not. Pretty. Please do not ask my husband about what I'm like at 2 am. We received the typical advice to ignore her, that she'd figure out we weren't coming for her. But we felt compelled to apply Phil. 2:4 and look towards her interests, and to do it joyfully. It was difficult for me because I was very tired and I felt sure I had done something to screw up my child and cause her to have a sleep regression. I worried that she would never sleep well again, that it would affect her development (I know...ridiculous). Many nights, most nights actually, I had to beat "self" into submission as I rolled out of bed and remember to be full of love, not full of frustration. (I'm definitely not getting Mom of the Year Award after this post, huh?!). Tommy on the other hand is full of compassion and gentleness at all times, even at 1 am and then again at 3 am, 4:30 am, etc. Guilt, anyone?! Of course, her tooth broke through, she went back to her regular sleep habits, and her momma became slightly less paranoid. ;)  But the lesson learned by making faith applicable to even the smallest things in parenting wasn't lost on us.

We learned one thing after being a parent for about a week-- there is not a "right" way to parent, so to speak. What works with Abi Kate probably won't work with another child. What works in our family won't work in another family. What we think is right for her may not be right for someone else's child. And that is ok! We all have a responsibility to look towards the interests of our children, and that might look different in different  families. We would be foolish and full of pride to assume that her disposition and capabilities are accredited to our exceptional parenting skills. Instead, I've found that loving her has given me a better picture of God's love for His children, and has afforded me the opportunity to continue to work out my salvation and walk in faith. I'm grateful that He reaches me when I'm unreachable, that He soothes me when I am inconsolable, and that He willingly gave of Himself when I was most unworthy. Oh, that I would faithfully walk in those truths....

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

15 Months Later.....We Have An 8 Month Old!

Well, if you scroll back through my *long* list of blog entries, you will see how wonderfully successful I've been at blogging in the past. Impressive, right?! So, here I am, attempting to do it a bit more justice this time around. I've gone back and forth about blogging. I wanted to blog through my pregnancy, so I could look back and recall moments from the experience. Unfortunately, life won, school started, and I never quite accomplished that goal. Hopefully, my superior memory won't fail me as I get older and try to remember Abi Kate's pregnancy ;)  (And seriously, if you know me well, you know how "superior" my memory has become since giving birth...sheesh.) Over the last 8 months, Christ has done such a beautiful work in my heart. Truthfully, it began before our daughter arrived. He is sanctifying me through this journey of motherhood, and I want to remember the many things I've learned and to share them (because honestly, when have you EVER not known me to share an opinion, experience, or story....) And while everything He is teaching me has not been easy, it is a good work, and I am so grateful for His continued work in my life even when I fight and struggle against it.

People always ask you after you have a child how the transition from "Party of 2" to "Party of 3" has been. Frankly, the transition from being a full-time teacher at an excellent school with a marvelous team (Miss you girls!) to being a full-time mom at home with my daughter has been easy. It wasn't a hard jump for me.  And I am so thankful for that. Mothering Abi Kate comes naturally and flows easily. She is the greatest joy of Tommy's and my life, and I am beyond grateful to have the opportunity to dedicate my days to her growth. But that being said, parenthood has still been a learning process--one that we have savored and are still fleshing out everyday together. We have so much to learn. :)

Also, I left the single, lonely blog post up that I began with last July. Mostly because it is funny for me to go back, reread it, and see how things worked out and how my views have changed. To sum it all up:

Lesson 1: Still totally in agreement with this statement. Show grace to the vomitting woman!
Lesson 2:  Yep, still in agreement. And it's funny that I mentioned people being sick their entire pregnancy because.... I was. However, it wasn't life shattering. So much so that I look forward to another pregnancy.
Lesson 3: Nope. Wrong. 100% incorrect. There was nothing traumatic about Abi Kate's birth. It was gentle, intimate, and grace filled. I think most people have read her birth story. I'll tag it on here one day (I hope!).
Lesson 4: This is still true. However, it's also true that I need to show much grace to the "Negative Nelly". And I am happy to report that we were blessed with an intervention free birth. He makes good on His promises.

So, here's to a more faithful and fruitful effort of documentation of our experiences, as mundane or simplified as they may be!!