15 Months In.....

I wrote most of this post about two weeks ago, and am just now getting around to posting it. Apparently, my posting skills are as awesome as my documenting skills….Abi Kate turned 15 months old a few weeks ago. I don’t know why I’m so stunned by the numbers continuing to increase. I mean, she has been getting older for the last year and a half, but I’m always still so shocked that she’s “that old.” I wish I could say that I’ve been super on top of each month’s growth, but life happens. So, some of this stuff she’s been doing since about 13 months and some is more recent. Hats off to the moms who do the month-by-month blogs!

Her personality continues to emerge and we are finding that she is far more like me than we originally thought. Our chill little baby has become quite a firecracker, but a fun one! My mom often says we should’ve made her middle name Katie instead of Kate. Apparently, our “toddlerness” is quite similar. I can’t vouch for myself but she’s definitely a mix of sweet and savory…. ;)

She’s decided that being a picky eater is where it’s at. She still likes all the same foods she always has, it’s just that she prefers them at particular mealtimes. Like those Carribean black beans she’s always loved so much? Offer them for lunch-- No, thanks. For dinner the next night-- oh yes, she will have extra helpings of those please. Her favorite food right now is blueberries. Anytime, any place they are always a winner. (And as a collective household, we are SO ready for blueberry picking season because Kroger is making some serious cash off our child’s taste buds). She loves cheese and yells, “Sheese!” and runs to the fridge if you mention it.(Definitely my kid) She also ran to the refrigerator the other day and yelled, “FOOD!” Obviously, we don’t feed her very often-- just look at her thighs. ;) 

She’s gotten pretty adept at using a spoon and fork and about 90% of the food makes it into her mouth without much mess. Most of the time. I think her favorite thing to eat with a spoon is yogurt-- vanilla, strawberry, Greek- she’s game for them all.

Abi Kate has never been particularly fond of playing with or cuddling stuffed animals, blankets, or lovies. But this past week, she has started carrying around a little stuffed bear that was mine. I was telling her the other day that it was time to go, and she promptly ran out of the kitchen into our bedroom where she’d dropped him, grabbed the bear, and returned with him in tow. Precious! I hope she decides to keep it up. There’s not too many things that are cuter than a toddler walking around with a bear in the crook of their arm.

I think her rolling on the floor fits have increased within the past month. I’m always surprised at how such frustration comes out in such an explosive manner from such a little person. Honestly, it’s just a tad bit funny. Sometimes. A little. She definitely has an opinion about many things-- what she’d like to do or not like to do, where she would and wouldn’t like to play. She always prefers to walk without holding a hand and is genuinely insulted when you insist on holding hands in the parking lot. And while she has quite a few words, it’s not enough for her to verbalize how she’s feeling. So, a stomping/jumping fit of “No! No! No!” usually ensues. This is even more exciting when she’s wearing her squeaky shoes. It’s all age appropriate, and I know this. But wowza. It’s impressive. I was trying to explain her behavior to Tommy the other day and said something along the lines of, “It’s like she’s got this huge personality inside this small body and it just explodes everywhere.” He leaned over, knowingly shaking his head and rubbed my back and said, “Oh yes, I know….” Thanks, sweetie. I will take it as a compliment that you have agreed that my body is ‘small’. ;)

Truly, she’s very pleasant most of the time. She says “hi” and waves to nearly every human being that walks past us in the store, would happily go home with any stranger, giggles freely, and loves giving hugs and kisses to adults and children alike. We’ve found her to normally be one extreme or the other-- very happy or very not. Usually the first.

Sadly, she bit her first little friend the other day (and hopefully her last, though I’m not naïve…). I was mortified to discover that I am raising a vampire. This was one particular phase I was hoping would skip our house, but it seems that it may not. She has bit me once or twice before, but always while she was teething or giving a kiss. (We all confuse kissing and biting, right?!) Apparently, this is something not reserved just for  mommy. Oh, goody. Age appropriate? Yes. Acceptable? No. So I suppose onwards and upwards in new parenting challenges. Look out little friends in the church nursery!

At her 15 month well-check she weighed 22 lbs 2 oz. and is 31 inches tall… roughly the 40% for both. She didn’t say much at the doctor’s office, but when her pediatrician tried to look in her mouth to see her teeth, she quickly put up her little hand, shook her head, and said, “No, no.” She then preceded to purse her lips so he couldn’t look. Bet she’s gonna love the dentist. ;) She just cut her 11^th tooth at the beginning of this week. All those teeth make her look more toddler than baby for sure. Thankfully, all molars are officially in. Whew. Molars are hard to grow!

She has about 35-40 words now, which makes communicating with her over basic needs relatively easy. She still loves reading, but only at certain times of the day right now. She loves all things animal, so her current obsession is making animal sounds for cow, horse, goat, sheep, dog, cat, chicken, monkey, pig, owl, lion, and bird. Strange variety, I know. Bird is my new favorite- “tweet tweet” sounds like “bweet pweet”. She still calls for Nora all the time, any time she sees a picture of a dog, a stuffed animal dog… “Hey No-a” or “Noma”. Her speech continues to evolve and things that she used to say, she says differently now. Most words sound similar or nearby to the appropriate pronunciation except for 'water'. She calls it “hoy.” Always. We’re just going to pretend like she’s trying to be bilingual with that one. Ha! She identifies her eyes, nose, ears, hair, feet, toes, hands, and belly (which she affectionately calls “beh-you”. Like when I’m changing her diaper and she lifts up my shirt, points and says “beh-you”! Thanks, honey.)  She also desperately loves this video. She was in Tommy’s lap one night while he was using the computer, so he went to Youtube and looked up nursery rhymes. She loves almost all of the videos from this group, and honestly, I think they’re just plain bizarre. Nonetheless, she will walk up to the laptop, tap it, and say “Baa Baa” and start dancing. And P.S. if you’re friends with me on Facebook and this video popped up in your feed from me, it is because my lovely husband hacked my page and posted it for like 10 minutes before I realized it. My taste in music really isn’t that bad.

We started a music class a few weeks ago that I think she’s really enjoying. There’s dancing, tonal patterns, rhythmic practice, instruments, finger plays. All sorts of fun, age-appropriate, musical goodness. Sometimes she’s incredibly participatory and other times she’d rather look out the window while the music plays. :) It’s a fun time with her and since I love all things music, I really look forward to it each week. I think she enjoys experimenting with the instruments most. It’s been a fun addition to our weekly Books & Babies day.

This age has been the most trying by far, but also extremely rewarding. I like how God balances those things out for us. ;) I’m intrigued by this developmental period (because I’m a dork, I know). She understands far more than she’s capable of verbalizing, follows easy directives but isn’t able to respond with appropriate words yet. She’s just at this “spongey” time where she’s soaking up everything and constantly learning. All kids at this age are this way. Really, the first five years are just one big spongey experience. But the visible learning comes in waves, and I enjoy watching it like any parent does. 

It's funny she's only been with us for 15 months. It seems like she's just always been ours, in this family as long as it's existed. Despite the trying moments, I will take her just as she is-- laced with meltdowns and giggles alike. Her life and presence in our home is a precious gift.

Three's a Party, Four's a Crowd

Yep, looks like we are moving to “crowd” status! Tommy and I found out a few days before Easter that we are pregnant. We are so excited to experience this again together and add to the dynamics of our family. We kept it a secret from everyone for the first few days, just us two knowing. That’s always such a tender time to me, when we are the only ones who know. :) We told our families on Easter and sent out these cards to a few friends, asking them to keep it a secret, too. 

P.S. They don't make SugarMamas anymore. They stopped in the 80's. Disappointing, huh? So we improvised. And then a week or two later, I just had this candy sitting out on my dresser and it's been SO long since I've eaten it, so I tried the Sugar Babies.... and after picking two little pieces out of my teeth for an hour, I decided that they make much better pregnancy announcements than they do candy. :p 

We actually wanted to wait a bit later to announce it publicly, but much like with Abi Kate, I couldn’t hide it well anymore. At 8 weeks, I had a visible baby belly and my pants completely stopped buttoning/zipping. My babies like to make their presence known. Welcome back, belly band. :)

People always want to know if you were “trying” or not, which is always really funny to me because that’s basically dispelling the secrets of your sex life. But I will sacrifice myself on the altar of dignity for inquiring minds-- our answer is yes and no. We knew we wanted to really start trying for a baby in the coming months, we’ve always wanted our children to be about 2 years apart, and we assumed it would take a few months to get pregnant because it took a few purposeful months to bring us Abi Kate. We use Natural Family Planning, so I chart and all that entails. In March, we decided just to forgo the charting, ignore any and all signs of fertility, and only have sex when we wanted to, no “trying” involved. We knew we could possibly get pregnant but didn’t think we would. In fact, I thought we’d probably missed the “window of opportunity” so to speak anyway. Clearly, this is the way to get pregnant very quickly.

The day we found out, I was kinda unsure about whether or not we were pregnant. All along, I hadn’t given much thought to it because I assumed it was unlikely we would be pregnant. As that Wednesday drug on, I started having all the same signs of pregnancy that I did with Abi Kate right before I ‘d gotten a positive test. In fact, when I was doing my makeup that day, I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “Oh my gosh. I think you’re pregnant!” You talk to yourself like that too, right?! I spent an hour or two going back and forth about whether or not I should get a pregnancy test. Honestly, every woman knows the number one way to start your period is to go spend 20 bucks on a test. I really just didn’t want to waste the money (cheap, anyone?!) But my curiosity got the best of me after I passed a CVS twice that day, so I ran in and grabbed one. This is not my first time buying a pregnancy test, obviously. It has happened many times within almost 6 years of marriage, but I swear I feel the same way everytime when I get up to the counter. I always think, “Please don’t talk to me about this. Don’t ask me if we want a baby, are we trying, don’t we know what causes this, or anything else.” And especially, since I had Abi Kate on my hip, I was expecting some fabulous commentary from the aging woman at the counter. She didn’t say a thing, just smiled and said, “Good luck!” as I was walking out the door. I guess that could go both ways. Ha!

Being me, I could not wait to test, so I ran to the bathroom. And this is what I saw the second I put it down…

 I knew it was possible, but I was still so surprised! I cried (happy tears) and laughed all at the same time, and said “Yay!” with Abi Kate who shouted it back in unison. I also can’t keep anything from Tommy for any amount of time. So I texted him and asked who in our family had a December birthday. He said he couldn’t remember, to which I responded with a picture of the pregnancy test and said “How about baby #2”. Romantic, right?! A text. I just couldn’t wait. So we celebrated that night and talked about how surreal it felt.

So far, this pregnancy has been similar to Abi Kate’s in a few ways. With Abi, I was sick from about 5 and half weeks pregnant all the way through delivery. It was pretty much round the clock nausea that lightened up around 20 weeks, but I still spent a lot of time near a toilet or sucking down peppermints to stave off nausea. I’ve been sick with this little one, as well, though not as heavily. It comes in waves and passes more easily. A lot of people have asked me if I feel like that means it’s a boy. I don’t. Being the worrier I am, I’m actually grateful for the sickness because it makes me feel like things are progressing. So, we prayed that I just wouldn’t be as sick as I was with Abi. I was really concerned about how I would be able to care for her if I were constantly plastered to the couch or the looking for the nearest bush to vomit in, which is essentially what I did during the first part of her pregnancy. Abi Kate is also still nursing and I was concerned about meeting a caloric intake to sustain my milk supply and sustain a healthy pregnancy if I were constantly throwing up. I honestly just feel like God has answered our prayers. I also feel like preparation makes a difference. Entering into pregnancy with Abi, I just assumed I wouldn’t be sick. Please do not ask me why I was laboring under that delusion. With this baby, I assumed I would be disgusting sick and lose weight like I did with her. I was prepared for it and already knew what worked for me and what didn’t in terms of treating nausea, or rather surviving it. Having a 1 year old also helps because I literally just do not have time to think about how sick I’m feeling. Sometimes that makes it harder, but many times it has helped keep my mind off of the physical symptoms, and I really think that has helped me cope with it much better than I did previously. I have fewer food aversions this time which is good since I’ve been a bit ravenous (nursing and pregnancy combined will do that to you). It’s an interesting balance, feeling so hungry yet so nauseated by the thought of food at the same time… definitely an experience.

What’s exactly the same is the fatigue. It is so heavy and thick, just like it was with Abi Kate. It’s always shocking to me how encompassing that tired feeling can be. I literally dream these crazy, vivid, deep dreams every time I fall asleep be it for 20 minutes or 7 hours. And I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck upon waking each time. I have had to take a step back from a few things, let go of some personal expectations, and embrace resting. Abi Kate still takes two naps a day and I am so thankful for that because I typically take advantage of both of those nap times and sleep. It means I am less productive in the daytime, my house is less clean, I have less energy to go and do things, but it is necessary. A lot of people believe in pushing through the fatigue, but I believe in listening to what my body is telling me. If it’s telling me I need sleep, then I need to sleep. Plain and simple. There’s a lot of theories about “fighting the fatigue”, but as long as there’s nothing pathologically wrong with me, my body won’t lie to me. I try to take advantage of the times that Abi Kate is awake to go for a walk or do physical activities (I did pilates with her the other day. That was exciting. Between her and the dog I became a human jungle gym). Occassionally, physical activity helps with the tiredness, but only lightly.  I’m grateful to be home during this time so I can rest as I need to.

I have also noticed that the snarkiness is already emerging….Oh dear. In pregnancy, I tend to be far less patient with adults and I tend to have far more opinions that I feel the need to offer up far more freely. Lovely combo, I know. The girls I taught with while I was carrying Abi Kate referred to this as “Pregnant Katie.” Well she has returned in full glory, and maybe even more in need of a muzzle than before. So, if and when you hear my snarky comments, you’ll understand.

 We had an early ultrasound at my request to check on baby. At the imaging center we went to, they offer only abdominal ultrasounds. At 8 weeks, a baby is visible with an external ultrasound but it is very small. At first, the tech couldn’t find anything and I was beginning to freak out on the table. Tommy said it was all over my face. She stopped and said, “I think baby is just hanging out really low.” And sure enough, there was sweet baby with their little heart flickering away. I carried Abi Kate very low as well--guess some places are just more cozy than others. :) What was so neat about this ultrasound is that the big black space directly to the right of baby-- that is actually a mark from where Abi Kate’s sac was. 

I cried when she showed me. It was so sentimental to me that I still carry the marks of Abi within me. And even more so that this little one has implanted directly beside her. Maybe it’s a sign that they will be close. :) She turned up the volume on the ultrasound and we were able to hear baby’s heart beating. It’s such a precious sound. Baby’s little heart maintained a steady 150 bpm during the entire scan.

I would really like to say that I’ve grown tremendously since carrying Abi Kate and that I am unconcerned and confident. But that’s not true. I feel equally as vulnerable in this pregnancy as I did in my first, frequently worried that I will miscarry this precious life that I already love. I feel like the worry has been harder to combat this time, though Tommy swears it was just the same with Abi Kate (I’m glad he remembers!!). I really had such a fantastic pregnancy with Abi Kate. She was always healthy, and minus the regular throwing up, I was always healthy. I was low risk, had a beautiful unmedicated labor and birth. And I guess I find myself struggling to believe that this could happen to me more than once. I know more people who’ve had tragedy in their pregnancies than those who haven’t, and that’s never far from my mind. I have to regularly remind myself that the health and success of my first pregnancy wasn’t just a lucky occurrence. It was a result of answered prayer from a faithful God. So, I am desperately trying to cling to that truth and walk in faith. This time period is always difficult for me, but diligence in my prayer life and quoting scripture helps dispel the fear.

I’m excited about this time because I love being pregnant. I know a lot of people want to be tiny and small throughout their pregnancies. I don’t feel this way at all-- just the opposite. I love the growing and those first subtle movements. It is such a sacred time and has proven so far to be a rich time of spiritual growth for me again. We are so grateful for this sweet life that will be joining us in December. If this baby is anything like their sister, they’ll arrive “on time”. Which means I’ll get to rock the “2 under 2” banner for about a month before Abi Kate’s second birthday. I think that means fun and busy times are ahead! It’s still bizarre to me to think of Abi Kate as being a big sister. I assume that will change the further along I get.

Our first appointment with our midwife is in 2 weeks. I can’t wait to hear that sweet little heart again. It brings such reassurance and excitement. And in the meantime, we are celebrating and thankful and puking and sleeping and all things first trimester-ish. This is the sweet stuff of life. 

Bring On the College Years

Oh, adulthood. It’s a strange thing, isn’t it? I think as little children we’re always chasing after it, or at least what it has to offer. Freedom from bedtimes and rules, being able to do what you want when you want-- choices. And then you go to high school where you’re ready to get out and move away to college and start your life. But so many people in the background are saying, “These will be the best years of your life! You’ll be dying to return.” And then there’s college, and you spend those four (sometimes five…oops!) years thinking that it is real life. Until you graduate. And you realize college was not reality but you have now, finally met real life face to face.

I can’t say I’ve fallen into the “high school was the best time of my life” group. Like at all. Every time I drive past my old high school, I feel like shouting, “Freedom!!” You know, the Mel Gibson version from Braveheart. I didn’t have a bad high school experience, just the opposite. But I always felt that people were so dramatic and mostly disingenuous with their thoughts and their friendships. And when I look at the Facebook pages of many current high schoolers, I see that this is still the case. I guess it’s true- “the more things change the more they stay the same.” And just like every high school teenager, I said, “Oh I’m going to move away to college as soon as I graduate.” False. This did not happen, and I’m so not sad about it. Word of the wise-- there are very few careers that consider the school that you received your undergraduate from. Do yourself a favor-- go to the state school. You’ll thank yourself later when you aren’t swimming in student loan debt, and you can use your salary for whatever you want.

While it’s true that I drive past the high school and don’t miss it, driving near campus is an entirely different story. It’s funny because I thought I’d never miss college either. Wrong. I remember the first week of classes as a freshman, I was so overwhelmed and thought I’d never enjoy it. But time passed, and I began to appreciate the independence college lends over your schedule, the love affair it spurned with coffee. I became a fantastic parking place stalker (if you’ve been a student at MTSU, you completely understand this statement), managed to enjoy the downtime between classes when I had a sucky schedule by treating myself to Starbucks on campus, and I even narrowed down the walk between the Honors building and Peck Hall to a quick 8 minute trek (P.S. WHY on earth did I schedule myself that walk for 3 semesters in a row?!). It really was a time of responsibility without the immediate consequences--- definitely NOT real life. Stay up too late the night before? It’s ok, just skip class the next morning and sleep in. There’s no attendance policy. Sure, you might scramble to make up what you missed, but really no big deal. Spend 8 hours studying for an exam the day before because you haven’t looked at the information at all in the previous weeks? Passed test. It’s funny because I kinda had this sense I was living in the real world. There’s lots of people who are all busy and consumed with what they’re doing at the moment. You walk past them in herds, say thank you to the person who holds the door for you, eat near them in the University Center while you both study different course work, and then you sit in class and form an acquaintance based on your mutual dislike for the professor who reads his lecture notes from a legal pad that is older than you…. If you compared the picture, it looks a lot like people passing each other in a work building, being busy with some task, living in the real world. But it’s not really-- the people are different and the consequences aren’t the same. You’re accountable, but only to yourself. Things are easier in college. More free. Some of my closest friendships were formed there. In fact, I have fond memories of going to a friend’s apartment on campus in between classes while we both trudged through the chaos of 18 hours and 2 teaching practicums, case studies and observations… Swear, what was I thinking?! I met her my first day of class after switching majors in my junior year. I sat down beside her in an Educational Psychology class (which I was always chronically late for). I’d been married for a few months and she was planning her wedding. We became friends and stayed friends, through marriage and graduation, new jobs, new homes, and now as we build our families. And naively, I have thought that all my relationships would be this way if I just wanted them to. That the time you spend investing in others spills out into friendships that lasts, friendships that allow you to talk about the hard things, that challenge each other with confrontation, that are vulnerable with honesty, that are transparent and don’t hide the brokenness that exists in each person’s life. Sharing life with each other. But I am learning that this is not always the case, not in the real world. Not in a world where even other believers are broken and incapable of transparency, of showing the ugliest parts of themselves.

It’s been hard for me, and it’s had me missing my time in college-- when things were easy and relationships were soft. When I was unaware of the cost of pouring your life into others. When the responsibility of choices felt light. I’m learning that you just can’t lay down roots in every friendship, even if you wanted to so badly. Not all people are open to that.  In fact, many of the people that you pour yourself into will walk in and then walk out of your life. It might not be immediately. It might be years down the road, which makes it harder I think. Some people enter your life, take what they need, and exit as quickly as they arrived. Some people throw themselves into and out of friendships whenever things get difficult or whenever it’s time to move to the next level of honesty of vulnerability, making a slow exit, leaving you in the wake to figure out where things stand. It’s a messy picture, but relationships are messy. Sharing life with other people is messy, and I’ve found that many people just aren’t ready for that type of commitment.

I talked about this with Tommy the other day and with my sister. They are always who I seek when I need counsel. Tommy always speaks directly to my heart. I never have to say much for him to already understand where I’m at and why. He knows me well. And my sister encouraged me to think on the example set by Christ-- the commitment Jesus had to His Father, and His disciples- his friends--just lagging along half-heartedly as He was deeply invested, taking what they needed from Him…. She reminded me that this is the model for our relationships. Except we aren’t the Perfect loving the imperfect. We’re the imperfect soul loving other imperfect souls, which complicates things. That the investment isn’t what matters as much as bringing glory to God through loving others rightly. Because really, it just isn’t about me. Even though I want it to be, to be about my friendships and the closeness that I feel to others. Even though I think I cast that off, my needs and my wants…. There I am again, with all my expectations wrapped up in other people. But what happens in this life in terms of relationships has much more to do with the Kingdom of Christ than it has to do with me.

Sometimes the cost of investing in others to not have it reciprocated is high. To think that there is a mutual sacrifice and sharing of life together and then find out that isn’t it the case-- it’s hard. And it hurts. But this…. THIS is real life... Where people hurt and aren’t whole, where communication failures abound, where the façade of perfection reigns over the realities of brokenness.  Where people put up walls and keep others out. Where people aren’t kind and are sinful--even me. The consequences and realities are much harder than that in college. Real choices lead to real effects.  The accountability is heavy. It is the reality of adulthood.

Of course, no child knows that this is what they are chasing after. Otherwise, they’d happily accept their naptime, orange juice, and the little friend that keeps demanding they share the toys. But it is real. And even though there’s sadness involved, there’s hope too.  “.. Behold, I am making all things new…” Rev. 21:5. I believe that extends to hearts and people, even to relationships.  I am trying to remember this, so when people disappoint me (and they will, just like I will disappoint them), I can keep a better perspective on my calling and my purpose. That I will choose to find my expectations in the person and completed work of Jesus Christ instead of in others.  It’s a hard road to walk, but one I do not walk alone. And as I’ve entered into adulthood, I’ve become abundantly grateful for friendships that are real. Ones that are open and honest, capable of weathering hard conversations and reveling in one’s accomplishments without envy. The ones where they walk beside you and live out the Gospel, where the ebb and flow of the relationship looks like constant sacrifice and service-- mutual care. I’m finding these are very rare relationships indeed, but worth pursuing. They might’ve been friendships forged in childhood or adulthood, out of mutual like or necessity, but no matter how they were created there is potential to spur one another on to good works. I’ve always been grateful for friends, but I think this realization has pushed me over to a new level of gratitude. Maybe that was the point all along…..And for these people in my life, the ones who stay and wade through the darkness and celebrate in the joys of life, the ones who check-in when others check-out, for you all…. I am so incredibly thankful. 

Strawberry Fields Forever

This past week we took Abi Kate strawberry pickin’ (it seems more Southern without the ‘g,’ right?). Tommy’s schedule differs from about 95% of the people we know. He works Saturdays and usually takes off one day during the week. It’s a bummer sometimes because when everyone is posting their fun Saturday plans, our day is relatively normal-- just her and I. But, the benefit is that we get to do things during the week together when everything is less crowded….

As Abi Kate has gotten older we often try to spend our family day together doing something purposeful, going somewhere together. I’m really big on giving her experiences, no matter how big or small they are. Anything out of the ordinary becomes a great learning opportunity and gives her a chance to create fun. We also just like doing things together as a family, so win win. J

I’ve written about our pursuit of cleaner living right here. It is still an ever-evolving process, and we go up and down with it. But, one of my favorite things about Spring and approaching Summer is that it makes it much easier to find quality produce locally. Instead of paying exorbitant amounts for organic produce at the grocery store, we can find it much cheaper at a variety of Farmer’s Markets and pick-your-own farms. So, we went on the Tennessee Pick-Your- Own website, found a nearby strawberry farm, and trekked the 45 minutes out there this week. While they’re not certified organic, they don’t spray, and that’s good enough for me! I also tend to be a bit more lenient with local farming practices simply because the food is typically so much richer in nutrient content. It wasn’t picked two weeks ago in California, packaged through a facility, and flown out to my local chain grocery store where I buy it after it’s been on the shelf for two days….  Freshly picked=more live enzymes, nutrients, and minerals. So for me, I come up pretty even on buying certified organic that’s two weeks old with freshly grown produce that isn’t certified… I’m also big on supporting local farming so that quality food can stay in MY community instead of supporting a farm in California that I don’t live even remotely close to… you get the picture. They’re also such a great price it’s easy to get a ton and freeze them for later when they aren’t readily available or in season.

We almost opted not to go because it’s started sprinkling rain as we loaded up, and a chilly wind was kicking in. We went anyway, and I’m so glad.

It was a little bit like heaven walking through those strawberry fields. For one, we are strawberry eaters. They’re delicious and are one of Abi Kate’s favorite foods. And these not only look beautiful, they are hands down the best strawberries I have ever eaten. Juicy and soft, sweet not tart…

We put Abi Kate down to let her have a go at picking them, too. Her favorites? The white ones. You know, the unripe ones. Every time I’d turn around she’d be sneaking a bite of one…. After showing her a few times, she started choosing the red ones. Usually. I loved watching her chubby little hand grasp that red berry and yank hard to get it off the vine. Precious. Sometimes, she put it in the bucket. More often than not, it went directly into her mouth. Seriously, they were so good, who could blame her?! When I tried to show her that we put them in the bucket, it was met with a hand up and a, “No.” ;0

So, we made a dropping game out of it and she decided the bucket might be ok….

 Still sneaking the strawberries at every chance ;)

It started raining while we were picking, so Tommy said he’d run to the car and grab his big umbrella. I thought he meant a golf umbrella. Incorrect. He meant a Tommy Bahama beach umbrella. And it popped backwards in the wind, which was also hilarious. I know that farmer was looking at us like we were crazy, going up and down the rows with a white-strawberry stealing baby under a huge porch umbrella. I’d laugh at us, too. J

We were damp and cold by the time we finished filling up two gallons worth of strawberries, but the experience was so fun. Watching her enjoy the activity we chose was so fun.

 Learning about strawberries :)

 This little girl adores her Daddy

So we headed home, eating strawberries from the bags… You know how you keep saying, “Just one more. This is the last one. Promise.” That happened on that 45 minute drive. Like over and over again. Oops….

Every summer we try to make a big batch strawberry jam and freeze it. It’s so much healthier than store bought brands, lasts for several months, and it also just tastes really good….

 STILL snatching strawberries at every chance she can ;)

Once the honey and sucanat went into the berry mix, this girl was a bowl licking fool! She threw a great big fit when we pulled her away….bless her, it’s hard giving up a snack you really want!

So we got out her little table to give her a cooking station of her own, threw some whole wheat flour in a bowl and gave her a spatula. Not too much “cooking” went on there. It was mostly her eating the flour. 

I think it's obvious how she feels about the flour... look at that face :/

I love these days spent with my best friend and the little girl we share. 

For the Love of Reading

“Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.” 

I adore Charles William Eliot’s take on reading. It sums up, in one short sentence, the way I feel about literature. I am the person who stood waiting at the mailbox for my early delivery of Harry Potter 7. The person who read for nearly 12 solid hours until my eyes were so fuzzy I could barely make out the words, stopping only to call my friend in another state at 2 am to discuss how magnificently the characters were developed throughout the series.  I am the person who can’t get rid of a book because I might need to re-read it at least three more times. The one who couldn’t stop herself from finishing another series within three days, even though I wanted to slow down. And now that you have a clear picture of how big of a nerd I am…… I just love reading. Always have. When I taught Kindergarten, I had 17 plastic milk crates filled with books in my classroom library at all times. They were switched out monthly with the other books I had kept in my storage cabinets. And then there were my “teacher books”-- the ones that were so precious, I couldn’t stand to have them “Kindergarten-ized”, so I read those books to them.

I love all books-- non-fiction and fiction, though I prefer the latter. I love getting so wrapped up the characters that I feel emotional and exhausted when a book ends. I love slipping into the mind and heart of the author while I read their words. And I’ve always felt that if you can read, you can learn anything. You can teach yourself anything. That’s why it was so important to me to instill a love for reading in my students, and now in my child. I’ve always read to Abi Kate. And I like her to see me reading. I saved almost all of those crates of books from my classroom, so she has a large library to choose from.  My mom is a school librarian, so we’re never short on receiving new books either. Even my best friend’s Christmas gift to her was a Pride and Prejudice counting board book. Her first classic. (The same friend that talked with me at 2 am about Harry… Shocking? Not so much.)  And as of late, if you were to walk into my house at any given moment, this is probably what you’d see…

 Abi Kate’s favorite thing to do right now is read. I cannot tell you how excited I get over this (again, with a glimpse into my great nerdiness). In her waking hours, she truly spends the majority of them bringing books to me to read over and over again-- I’ve never been so thankful that I saved all those books-- I switch them out for new ones frequently. You can only read Ten Tiny Puppies so many times…. I often find her sitting down and flipping through the pages herself-- quacking at ducks, mooing at cows, meowing at cats. Sometimes, she just babbles while she turns the pages like she’s just making up her own little story. And I swear I could just sit there and watch her for hours.

I hope she always reads like this, appreciates the words and the stories. Granted, there’s no great depth to  Spot pop-up book or beautifully worded phrases in The Little Red Hen, but we’ve got to start somewhere right?! ;) Poor child, she never really had a chance in this house. I’m such a believer in the benefits of environmental print and language development through books. With all these books, who needs My Baby Can Read?! Seriously, who needs it… No one. That’s who. (I almost got on a soapbox about developmentally appropriate practices and the importance of phonemic awareness and phonics…. You’ve been spared. Trust me.) 

She looks like a little girl when I find her this way, not like a baby. And when she’s not reading, she’s chatting, often words she’s learned from her books. She uses about 25-30 words consistently and independently. They’re just little words right now, words that usually don’t hold great meaning to most (or many syllables for that matter haha.) But one day, I hope she comes to love the words she reads, that they teach her about life and people,  that they make her laugh out loud and cry freely. I hope that she will read with intention, appreciating the way words can be woven together to create a tapestry of vitality. I hope she learns that words are powerful and that she chooses hers carefully.  

I know it appears as though she's literally inhaling the book. And while I'd like to think that it's an outward expression of her hunger for books, she's really just kissing herself in the mirror on the page. ;)

Those books are already becoming her most “patient teacher.” And I love that. Even though the reading and the new words make her seem older, I still love those books.

So read on, sister! “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” Dr. Seuss (Except don’t go too far… your momma can’t handle that.)

Spring, Easter, and Everything Else

I’m loving this weather. Loving it. Like I just want to gather it all up into a big ball and give it a hug. I love living in the South, particularly in Tennessee. There’s a host of reasons why, but one of the big ones is that we get to experience every season. And yes, I know our weather has been a bit stranger this year-- an almost snowless winter and a warm Spring-- but we still get to watch the seasons shift and fade from one into another. And that is good for my soul. At the risk of sounding like I’m a BFF with Mother Nature, I really do love when a new season begins. I love that it’s new, a fresh start. I feel that way at the beginning of every season.

Because the weather has been so lovely, it’s afforded us the chance to do some outdoorsy things with Abi Kate. And she has proven thus far that she is not her mother’s child. She loves being outside. I often open up the back door in our kitchen in the morning while she eats breakfast, and as soon as the child is done eating she runs to the door and shouts, “Down! Down!” (Safety Sally won’t go down the steps by herself yet). She just wants to be outside all the time. So much so, that my closing the door this morning so we could get dressed ended in an official toddler tantrum. I like being outside. I really do. I just like it better from the porch, in a rocking chair, with a drink, hiding from the bugs. Since she seems to be a big fan of this new season, too, it made this next part an easy choice…

Easter is just a few days away. This significance of Resurrection Day is huge in our home-- it’s the source of our salvation. But I always feel like Easter gets left out in our culture. Stores spend forever on Christmas. Christmas Eve, Day, Week, Month-- it’s ALL a big deal. But Easter seems to be looked over. An egg hunt, a new dress, church, Easter dinner, and it’s done. Forgotten until the next year. The truth is, without Easter, sweet little baby Jesus’ birth would’ve meant something different on Christmas Day. The purpose of His birth was ultimately His death our forgiveness. I know there’s a big push amongst most believers I know to make sure that their children understand the true meaning of Christmas, the importance beyond the materialism, why we give the gifts that we do. And I think because the celebration of Christmas lasts for essentially a month (or earlier if you’re Walmart), there are so many opportunities to bring things back around to Christ’s birth. It’s easier. With Easter, there’s no big preparation. I realize that’s part of the purpose of Lent- but even with that, it often seems to be only a personal and quiet sacrifice, which is great. But there are no company parties, no dinner celebrations/gift exchanges with friends leading up to it, no outward preparations made in the culture. Because of that, we wanted to make sure that Easter morning is understood by Abi Kate for what it is, so we opted to do a Spring Basket instead of an Easter basket from the Bunny. When she wakes up on Easter morning and we get ready for church, it will be a big deal-- the cross will be a big deal. And P.S. I totally think you can do Easter baskets and make Jesus a big deal in your home. We just wanted to be sure that WE didn’t skip over the real meaning in our home. We aren’t anti-Easter bunny, or anti-Santa people. We like Santa and the Bunny. In fact, my mom always does Easter baskets, so the Bunny will just go to her house and Abi Kate will have a basket whenever we see them. We just want that morning as we prepare for worship, the days leading up to it, to be all about Jesus and nothing else. And since I love new seasons, it was easy to pick a Spring Basket. She gets to open her basket on the first day of Spring, which was March 20 this year. (We were late by a few days. Oops! Good thing she has no sense of time.)

Target $1 bins were good to us this year and I got a host of her things from there. Bubbles (hence her new word which she pronounces “bo-buhls!”) Sand and water toys for the new sand and water tables gifted to us from some sweet friends. A Praisebaby DVD for rainy days (this has been a source of much hilarity as we watch her dance). A new diaper-- seriously, there’s always a reason for a new diaper. Besides, it’s getting hot outside and she’ll be running around in just them soon. Like I how justified that one?! Books for her car book basket (she looks at books while I drive so I keep a basket of her books in my car). 

 Going after the snacks first... Smart girl

 And immediately taking them to Daddy to open

 Her current favorite pasttime-- reading. She's my child for sure!

So far, I think her favorite thing has been the bubbles. She figured out really quickly they were a necklace, so she wears them around the house all day and quacks when she finds them since they’re in the shape of a duck. Best $1 purchase ever.

 Bubbles with Aunt Ra

Safety Sally strikes again... Despite the fact that the patio is flush with the ground, knees are needed to get down ;) 

Love this sweet giggly girl.

Easter always elicits sweet memories for me. Every year we dyed eggs, made Jell-o jiggler eggs and rabbits, hunted for the golden egg. You know what else I remember a lot about Easter? The clothing.

 My mom made our dresses very often. Sadly, I did not inherit her domestic goodness in the sewing department. We almost always wore white hats and white gloves and usually a corsage. Thank you, Southern living. I’ve always been a girly girl, so I loved it. I remember spinning in the dresses to make sure skirt twirled when I spun, obviously the most important part of any dress. And I remember my sister going, “Mom, this is so scratchy. I don’t like it. Mom, do I have to wear these gloves? This flower is poking me.” Despite our close friendship, Rachel is about 180 degrees the opposite of me. She did not heart the dresses, the white hats, ribbons, or flowers. She did, however, make out with fabulous Easter gifts, which I very obviously NEEDED. 

The significance of Easter was never lost in our home, and I’m grateful for that. I really love all holidays, and I love the old memories and new ones that we’re making.

I especially love that my sister got the dress with the collar, extra lace, high neck, and puffed sleeves. She loved it, too. Just look at her face. And have no fear, there WERE gloves with these dresses.

I thought of our “Easter best” because when I was shopping for Abi Kate’s Spring basket, guess what was in their $1 bin?! White Easter hats. I almost bought one, just for good measure…..

And just to throw in one more flash back--

 What a difference a year makes! (We deemed this the Easter dog as he kinda didn’t look so much like a rabbit in the picture.)

I hope your Easter is filled with sweet memories, white gloves or not, and that the message of the cross and the life it gives echoes throughout your home. Happy Easter, friends!